What type of child will fit into your family? If you only want a newborn, then domestic infant adoption is the way to go. A Google or google maps search can show you local agencies, or check this adoption directory for ones in your state. For an idea of questions, you should ask them, browse this article. If you’re open to older toddlers, international adoption may be an option. Click here for information on how to choose a country.  If you are ready to open your home to an older child or even a teenager, then foster care is the best avenue. Contact your county’s department of social services (sometimes called other names like “family/protective services”). 

When you visualize going through the adoption process, is it important to sit down in-person with your agency’s workers and see them often? Do you value the close proximity of the agency where the birth mother may also be local and therefore easier to visit in an open adoption? For many, local feel more comfortable. Others, however, choose a nationwide agency based in another state. Or they choose international adoption. Another point to consider is whether the birth mother will have in-person counseling with the agency.

Do you know the agency’s culture/values/reputation? In order to determine the whole picture, visiting their website is only a start. Talk with the agency’s director and social workers. Google them. Read reviews on adoption sites. The best way to gauge their reputation, though, is word of mouth. I’ve heard great things online about one agency; however, the last two people I’ve talked to who used them or were waiting in their pool were unhappy with their experience.

You can also contact an adoption lawyer and see if they can provide a list of reputable agencies they’ve worked with. Ours even gave us a list of adoption agencies she advised against. All of this research seems confusing and never-ending, but it will be worth it when you finally settle on the best plan for your family.

Are you and your partner ready to start the adoption process? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to begin your adoption journey. We have 130+ years of adoption experience and would love to help you.

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One criticism I often hear about adoption agencies is they are “just businesses” that “just want to get infertile couples babies.” I would be horrified if someone thought our family went to them to pay money for a baby. Or that we just wanted our baby and didn’t care about his birth mother. Most people are not this selfish. Most agencies are, in my opinion, good entities. There is definitely a difference though in the level of importance placed on birth parents.

We didn’t feel at ease with one agency in particular because they kept contacting us and kept talking about “getting us a baby.” It seemed like they really needed us, which was an odd feeling. Adoption comes from a woman’s loss (and a man’s). We, as adoptive couples, come to fill a need–they need parents for the child, and we are the lucky beneficiaries. The agency shouldn’t leave out that part. Focusing on only our happiness and ignoring birth parents’ pain is not a realistic way to approach adoption.

The more we researched open adoption, the more important it was to us that agencies focused on birth mother care and counseling. During the adoption process, we found that sometimes it felt like our agency would be in communication with potential birth mothers first and adoptive families second. If there was an update, we would be the second call, not the first. As hard as that was for us, we realized this was a good thing. Things should be first and foremost about the child, not about us. Am I saying let a month go by without hearing a major update from your social worker? No. But I am saying if you and a potential birth mother happen to call the agency at the exact same time, you need to be okay with them answering her call first. A potential birth parent deserves the support.

Another thing to remember in an open adoption is that the birth mother (and possibly birth father) will be present in your life after the agency is done with the adoption. You want your child’s birth parents to feel as prepared as they can be for the adoption so that you can continue to have a good relationship with them for the rest of your lives. You will be the ones nurturing your relationship as time goes on, not the agency. Adoption can be such a beautiful thing when all parties involved are remembered and taken care of.

If you’re needing help finding a trustworthy adoption professional, click here for a free consultation.

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