It was then that the real work began. Our agency sent us a packet in the mail of the infamous adoption paperwork. You may have heard there is a lot…there is, plus more. Although there was so much for us to complete, it didn’t seem overwhelming because it was all there, paper clipped and printed on a to-do checklist. My husband and I divided up the tasks, and because we were childless and had time and also because we were extremely motivated, we had all our paperwork completed in one week! (To be fair, when we began the adoption process again for our second child, it took us two months to get the paperwork all in because we were parents and therefore had no time and also weren’t in a rush.) We then began the trainings required of prospective adoptive parents. It was great that our agency had online trainings so we could work in our pajamas at our own pace, but it still required a good amount of work. Each training ended with a lengthy write-up about what we learned, and these write-ups were sent to our future home study counselor, so we wanted them to be perfect. All the trainings took about one month to complete. The last step was the home study. We were nervous, but as it turned out, we didn’t need to be. Our counselor came in with a smile and a handshake and made us feel comfortable immediately. Most of the home study was an adoption education, a time where we could take notes and ask questions. She wanted to make sure we had all the information necessary to become parents through adoption. She did also check out our house thoroughly and ask to be shown where medicine and cleaning supplies were kept, where the fire extinguishers were, and made sure smoke and carbon monoxide detectors worked and that our home was overall a safe place for a child. As surprisingly comfortable as the home study turned out to be, we were still thrilled and relieved to hear we had passed and that our profile would be placed on the agency’s website.  

Then, the waiting began. Months passed, and we heard nothing. We posted our profile on other places online and heard back from several expectant mothers. Anytime we received one of these emails, our first move was to forward it to our adoption counselor and wait to be advised.  Often she would point out a detail about the email that made her wonder if this person was actually pregnant or was perhaps a scammer (turns out there are many people who try ‘catfishing’ adoptive parents and you need to be very careful). We were grateful for our counselor’s feedback, and she always ended up being right. After 20 years in the profession, she had a sixth sense when it came to these emails; she was the exact person you’d want in your corner going through all of this. We ended up with two fall throughs, expectant mothers who matched with us and later decided to parent the child. These were difficult times but made easier with phone calls from our counselor about how to take care of ourselves and how to keep pushing forward. On a cold December evening, our daughter was born, exactly 10.5 months after our profile was posted. The adoption process was a wild roller coaster ride with many difficult days, and I couldn’t imagine doing it without the guidance and expertise of our adoption agency—so much so that when it came time to adopt again, we still chose to use our agency, knowing that although we had some experience ourselves, there was still more unknown to us about adoption than known and we would again benefit from having an agency with two decades of experience behind us every step of the way.

Are you ready to pursue adoption? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to connect with compassionate, nonjudgmental adoption specialists who can help you get started on the journey of a lifetime.

The post Our Experience Working with an Adoption Agency appeared first on Adoption Agency | Near me, International, Centers for babies.

• Logistics

The first thing to consider when choosing an adoption agency is, Where are they based? Ours happened to be headquartered out of state but had a regional office right down the road. This proved important when questions came up and we wanted some face time with our social worker and country program manager. If you are pursuing domestic adoption, does the agency operate in multiple states? Do they support both open and closed adoptions? Are they an “A to Z” agency, meaning they can handle everything from your home study to your post placement reports, or does the agency just handle matching and placements?

• Placement Statistics

Every agency is different in terms of their breadth of work. Be sure to ask how many children they placed last year. For international adoptions, which countries do they work with and how many children were referred last year? Does the agency place children with single parents or same sex couples? A great question is: “How many children have you placed with families that are like mine?”

• Timing

The timing of your adoption is important. Find out the average timeline from application to home study, from home study to approval, and from approval to referral. For domestic adoptions, what is the average length of wait until matching? Are there things you and the agency can do to shorten the wait? For international, what is the wait from referral to travel? Is there anything (such as awaiting regional court approval in country) that can extend the wait? If so, is there anything the agency can do? What does the agency do to help families as they wait? 

• Cost

It’s no secret that adoption can be expensive. What is the average cost of your prospective program? Does the agency require all the fees upfront? Do they charge more (typically 4%) if a family pays by credit card? Are any of the fees on a sliding scale based on income? For both domestic and international, there can be pricey travel expenses involved. Is there a breakdown of other fees necessary to complete your child’s adoption?

• Domestic-Specific

How does the agency present a prospective adoptive parent’s profile? How do they present the birth mother’s profile? How does the agency handle birth mother expenses? Do you pay the agency and they allocate the funds, or do you pay directly, or through a monthly stipend? What happens if a match falls through? Is there an attorney on staff licensed in state? What is the agency’s communication frequency with both the birth mother and the prospective adoptive parents like throughout the process? 

• International-Specific

How long has the agency been working in the country you’re considering? How many families are currently waiting in the country’s program? How are referrals handled? Do they have in-country reps? How does the agency get information from the orphanage/foster family after you have been matched with a child? What kind of support do they offer when you travel? What happens if a country closes? Can you switch programs? How do they handle communication between referral and travel?

• Post-Placement

It may not be at the top of your mind now, but it’s important to learn what kind of post-placement support the agency offers its families. If your child has medical or behavioral issues, will they help you navigate the system to get the resources and services your child needs? What about support for the parents? Do they offer any groups or guidance?

Unsure where to begin? Call and request information packets from multiple agencies. Look at their websites and read testimonials. If after your interview with the agency you think it might be a good fit, ask if there is a recent adoptive family you can talk to from your same program. It may seem like a lot of questions, but any good agency will be both prepared and willing to answer your questions.

Are you and your partner ready to start the adoption process? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to begin your adoption journey. We have 130+ years of adoption experience and would love to help you.

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1. Be prepared!

ALL adoptive children have special needs. As an adoption professional, I want people who not only want to meet the needs of their family, but also who want to meet the needs of the child. Just the fact that they are being raised by someone other than their birth family, makes them a special needs child. International adoptive children are being raised in a different country, with a different language, probably by people who look very different from them. A child adopted from the foster care system may have undergone abuse, neglect, or abandonment and needs to recover from that trauma. Even in a private domestic adoption, the child may have needs that the parents are ill-equipped to deal with. Good prospective adoptive parents research, prepare their home and prepare other members of the family for the addition of a new child–a child that may have different behaviors than what they are used to. If those parents do their homework to meet that child’s needs, the transition will be much smoother. 

2. Be flexible!

The second quality, I as an adoptive professional looks for is flexibility. Perhaps the family is looking for a healthy, white, blond haired, blue-eyed infant, with no birth parental involvement. That’s nice. My questions to those parents is: “Would you be willing to take a sibling group?”, “Would you be willing to take an older child?”, “Would you be willing to take a child of a different race, ethnicity, or culture than you?”, “Would you be willing to take a child with special needs?” The more flexible a couple is, the easier they are to match with a child. The more inflexible, the longer they will have to wait.

3. Be teachable!

A third quality I as an adoption social worker am looking for is teachability: a willingness to learn and open to suggestions. With more and more grandparents caring for their grandkids, social workers are often younger than the clients whom they serve. And though caregivers may have more parenting experience, social workers have more classroom training, more on-the-job training, and more field experience than caregivers. We appreciate the sacrifice that caregivers make, but sometimes caregivers need to actively listen when constructive criticism is being made. Doing what is in the best interest of the child is always paramount.

A nice house or a plump salary or pleasant smile are nice qualities for anyone. What adoption social workers are looking for are inner qualities, however. What we endeavor to do is to match a child with a “forever” family. A family who will be prepared, flexible, and teachable for me will have those same qualities for the child, who could be a handful.

Considering adoption? Let us help you on your journey to creating your forever family. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

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1. Manufacturing an honest home study

A home study is a snapshot of who an applicant is and what home life is like for a family who seeks to adopt a child. It is chock full of information including a biography, references, experience with children, your current home and property, a health statement, a financial statement, and background checks.

A good home study is properly balanced between good and bad, positive and negative, strengths and needs. A home study that is too heavily colored in one direction or one that omits important information can be detrimental. For example, an applicant who was raised with a developmentally disabled relative should be counted as experience. An applicant who is bilingual is a valuable resource and should be included in the home study. An applicant who is Native American and has documentation of that ancestry is also important because it will give that applicant preference in being matched to a Native American child. A thorough, detailed, and well-written home study can make all the difference in matching a waiting family to a waiting child, which leads to the second point.

2. Making the child’s history fully known

The other side of fully disclosing the family’s history is giving full disclosure of the child’s history. There is no worse feeling for an adoptive family than feeling important information was not disclosed up front about the child. The adoption professional representing the child should fully disclose everything about that child including medical, behavioral, educational, and developmental information prior to the final placement. Full information may not be available about the birth parents, but that should be no excuse for fully disclosing important details like: How did the child become free for adoption? Have there been any previous adoptive placements and if so, why did they disrupt? If the child is over 10, what are their expectations? Adoptive families can make a more informed decision when armed with this knowledge.   

3. Matching the right family for a child

Finding a good adoptive match is not like choosing the right gifts in a bridal registry. There is no such thing as finding the wrong child for a family; the correct family has just not been found yet.

The goal years and years ago, was to find a child who looked like you. That seemed sensible because the child would feel like he belonged in the family. The trend now is to find a family who can care for a child’s needs. Special needs such as autism, ADHD, Bi-Polar Disorder or Reactive Attachment Disorder are just a few of the things that adoptive parents can expect to encounter, whether adopting domestically or internationally. A good adoption professional trains and prepares their clients to meet these challenges head-on, rather than being caught off guard with behaviors such as food hoarding, head-banging, and sexualized behaviors appear.

4. Making a connection to the correct resources

Your primary care physician may not be a professional in every area of medicine, but I bet he could recommend a good chiropractor or a good Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist. In the same way, a good adoption professional may not have all the answers, but I bet he knows who does.

A good adoption professional is well-networked and well-connected to others in the child welfare community. Whether it is finding a child psychologist; finding a school that specializes in your child’s needs; finding respite providers or simply finding someone who has a spare car seat, he/she should be a treasure trove of resources! An unmotivated adoption professional says, “I don’t know” in answer to one of your questions; a motivated, experienced adoption professional says, “I don’t know that answer, but I know someone who does.”

Your adoption journey can be long and tedious. I know, because I’ve been there, adopting six kids in two different states. You need someone who knows you, who will support you, and guide you in this process. A good adoption professional can make all the difference.

Do you feel there is a hole in your heart that can only be filled by a child? We’ve helped complete 32,000+ adoptions. We would love to help you through your adoption journey. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

The post How an Adoption Professional Can Make or Break Your Journey appeared first on Adoption Agency | Near me, International, Centers for babies.

Making the decision to adopt a child can be an overwhelming decision to make but one where the benefits outweigh the doubt and nerves 100 times over. Once you decide to adopt, everyone has a story to share and the wealth of information can be exhausting.

The beginning of our adoption story started when my husband had a very serious auto accident; luckily he wasn’t hurt but it totaled his car. As he would check in with the auto shop once or twice a week as required by our insurance, he started an ongoing conversation with the girl at the reception desk about her own experience when she learned we had just started looking for an adoption agency. During one visit, she handed us what I have since then called our golden ticket: it was the business card of the woman who eventually became our adoption counselor.

We had been to several meetings of various agencies looking for a good fit; we had done a lot of conference calls trying to figure out where to start in our process; we talked to a lot of our friends who had gone through their own search asking what worked for them. For us, finding the right agency came down to developing a true connection with our counselor and sharing our core beliefs with the agency she represented.

Over the course of looking for an agency, we created a list of the things that were important to us in finding the right agency: trust was at the top of that list. As we started looking at different agencies our list evolved to include honesty, sincerity, and support. 

As our journey progressed and we became parents, our counselor left the agency within the first year of our daughter’s life. With her departure we lost our core connection to the agency and started to notice little discrepancies from what they had originally told us. At first some of those discrepancies weren’t concerning, but once we started facing bigger issues, it became evident that our own agency, the one we had painstakingly selected, no longer had the same core values as when we started our process.

Looking back on it, as we share our story with others who are just beginning their own, we give them the basics things that we felt important:

• TRUST… The agency should develop a strong relationship with you based on mutual trust.

• SUPPORT… The agency should always have your back. They should always support your decisions regardless of how they may feel about them personally as long as your decision protects the welfare, safety, and security of your child.

• HONESTY… The agency should give you peace of mind by assuring you that they will always be open and honest with you about their policies.

• COMMUNICATION… Communication is key; they should be willing to have an open line of communication with you at all times, day or night. They should be willing to give you the time you feel you need to get the full answers to every question you may have as your story unfolds.

• RESOURCES… The agency should be your number one support team. They should help you by offering or finding the resources and/or tools you need to answer questions, complete research and offer advice when you ask for it.

• UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE… They should support every decision you make for your adopted child when it comes to religious and personal beliefs. They should never try to convince you that you’re making a mistake or try to influence you to change your mind with a decision you and your partner have made.
• CONFIDENTIALITY… They should keep all personal information about you, your child, and your situation strictly confidential. Even with an open adoption there are things that you need to keep confidential.

Finding a good agency can be a difficult and tedious process, but once you find the right one, it can become the lifeline you will cherish as your own story begins.

Are you ready to pursue adoption? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to connect with compassionate, nonjudgmental adoption specialists who can help you get started on the journey of a lifetime.

The post Things an Adoption Agency Should Do for You appeared first on Adoption Agency | Near me, International, Centers for babies.

What type of child will fit into your family? If you only want a newborn, then domestic infant adoption is the way to go. A Google or google maps search can show you local agencies, or check this adoption directory for ones in your state. For an idea of questions, you should ask them, browse this article. If you’re open to older toddlers, international adoption may be an option. Click here for information on how to choose a country.  If you are ready to open your home to an older child or even a teenager, then foster care is the best avenue. Contact your county’s department of social services (sometimes called other names like “family/protective services”). 

When you visualize going through the adoption process, is it important to sit down in-person with your agency’s workers and see them often? Do you value the close proximity of the agency where the birth mother may also be local and therefore easier to visit in an open adoption? For many, local feel more comfortable. Others, however, choose a nationwide agency based in another state. Or they choose international adoption. Another point to consider is whether the birth mother will have in-person counseling with the agency.

Do you know the agency’s culture/values/reputation? In order to determine the whole picture, visiting their website is only a start. Talk with the agency’s director and social workers. Google them. Read reviews on adoption sites. The best way to gauge their reputation, though, is word of mouth. I’ve heard great things online about one agency; however, the last two people I’ve talked to who used them or were waiting in their pool were unhappy with their experience.

You can also contact an adoption lawyer and see if they can provide a list of reputable agencies they’ve worked with. Ours even gave us a list of adoption agencies she advised against. All of this research seems confusing and never-ending, but it will be worth it when you finally settle on the best plan for your family.

Are you and your partner ready to start the adoption process? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to begin your adoption journey. We have 130+ years of adoption experience and would love to help you.

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1. They Don’t Support the Rights of Birth Parents

An ethical agency should be one of the first things you look for when it comes to making a selection. An agency that does not require that birth parents be represented by an attorney may not be the best way to go. It is in your best interest to make sure that the birth parents are represented so there are no issues with birth parents feeling coerced. The agency is representing you and taking money from you. It is clear that they have your best interest in mind. With that, they also risk losing a client and funds if birth parents choose to parent instead of proceeding with the adoption. While one would hope an agency would not place pressure on birth parents, but it, unfortunately, does happen. Make sure your agency provides or requires that birth parents be represented.

2. They Have Poor Reviews

Trust those who have come before you. While as with any review platform some reviews can be embellished or false, look for ratings and common themes. Also, keep in mind that positive reviews can also be false or embellished. Read reviews thoroughly and feel free to question the agency about them. It is also wise to join some adoption communities in your area or online that may offer agency recommendations.

3. They Try to Cut Corners

If you have ever heard of an adoption being overturned, it is because some legality was missed in the adoption process. If you are in your adoption process and your agency is suggesting something underhanded, take the money you have left and run. If your agency says something to the effect of, “The law says this, but here is a loophole” or suggests keeping a birth parent out of the information loop so that the adoption remains secure, take this as a sign to begin searching for another representative. While it is not always easy to leave an agency, it is so important to make sure all legalities are filed. At the very least, if you are in this situation, hire an adoption attorney as additional support if necessary.

4. They Seem Unavailable

You will need your adoption agency throughout your adoption process and beyond. There will be questions, follow-up, emergent paperwork and multiple other needs that you will have that simply cannot wait. If you are with an agency that takes forever to return communication, it may be worth it to seek a new agency. If they are unavailable, the wait time for an adoption match may be longer as well. Some agencies are simply understaffed and overrun with clients. Make sure your agency can give you sufficient attention and availability so you can feel confident that they will be there when you need them and are working on your adoption with a sufficient amount of time and effort.

For help finding an international adoption agency, visit Adoption.com/international.

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What is the difference between accreditation and licensing? Here are a few things to consider:

1) Child welfare agencies or ones that are considered a “child-placing agency” have to abide by state and federal laws and statutes in order to provide services to children and families. Each state has its own set of standards that agencies must prove in order to be licensed. It is non-voluntary. If the state requires licensing in order to perform the service, then agencies must obtain licensure. From number of staff per program to education levels and how items are documented, a licensed agency must continue to uphold the requirements asked of them.

2) Accreditation is an extra step that some agencies voluntarily take. Think “best practice.” For example, a licensed agency might need to show that staff are required to obtain 15 hours per year of ongoing professional training while an accredited one may need to show that staff obtain 25 hours per year of ongoing training. In essence, accreditation standards are higher than the ones required for licensure.

3) While working with an accredited agency is useful and beneficial, it may not necessarily be required. A licensed child welfare agency should be able to assist you in the adoption process. However, it is important to research what is required in your home state and the country you desire to adopt from (if choosing international) in terms of facilitating the type of adoption that you are interested in.

4) Typically, a license lasts for a term of a few years. The same goes with accreditation. Agencies are expected to provide substantial documentation that they are upholding both the licensing standards and the accreditation standards. Often, visits by the licensing or accreditation entity will occur on site at the agency, along with a survey of staff, clients, and records.

5) Licensing is state-by-state, meaning that each state has its own set of standards. Accreditation is not state-by-state. It is a governing system that applies to each agency undergoing accreditation regardless of what state the agency is in.

Making the decision to adopt children is one of the most important ones you will ever make in your life. It is vital that you research your options, speak with other adoptive parents, and make a query with various adoption agencies. Asking if an agency is accredited is not an offense to the agency. You are beginning a wonderful journey into adoptive parenting, don’t be afraid to ask!

Considering adoption? Let us help you on your journey to creating your forever family. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

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One criticism I often hear about adoption agencies is they are “just businesses” that “just want to get infertile couples babies.” I would be horrified if someone thought our family went to them to pay money for a baby. Or that we just wanted our baby and didn’t care about his birth mother. Most people are not this selfish. Most agencies are, in my opinion, good entities. There is definitely a difference though in the level of importance placed on birth parents.

We didn’t feel at ease with one agency in particular because they kept contacting us and kept talking about “getting us a baby.” It seemed like they really needed us, which was an odd feeling. Adoption comes from a woman’s loss (and a man’s). We, as adoptive couples, come to fill a need–they need parents for the child, and we are the lucky beneficiaries. The agency shouldn’t leave out that part. Focusing on only our happiness and ignoring birth parents’ pain is not a realistic way to approach adoption.

The more we researched open adoption, the more important it was to us that agencies focused on birth mother care and counseling. During the adoption process, we found that sometimes it felt like our agency would be in communication with potential birth mothers first and adoptive families second. If there was an update, we would be the second call, not the first. As hard as that was for us, we realized this was a good thing. Things should be first and foremost about the child, not about us. Am I saying let a month go by without hearing a major update from your social worker? No. But I am saying if you and a potential birth mother happen to call the agency at the exact same time, you need to be okay with them answering her call first. A potential birth parent deserves the support.

Another thing to remember in an open adoption is that the birth mother (and possibly birth father) will be present in your life after the agency is done with the adoption. You want your child’s birth parents to feel as prepared as they can be for the adoption so that you can continue to have a good relationship with them for the rest of your lives. You will be the ones nurturing your relationship as time goes on, not the agency. Adoption can be such a beautiful thing when all parties involved are remembered and taken care of.

If you’re needing help finding a trustworthy adoption professional, click here for a free consultation.

The post Why Your Agency Should Put Birth Parents First appeared first on Adoption Agency | Near me, International, Centers for babies.

First, you need to decide what type of adoption you want to pursue. Domestic infant through an agency, a private domestic adoption, international adoption, or adoption through foster care. This will help guide you on agencies to start researching. Not every agency can do all of the above mentioned types of adoption. So you need to make sure that the agencies you are looking into are able to assist you in the type of adoption you are looking to pursue.

Second, do your research. The internet is a wonderful tool. Basic information can be found on most agency websites. Also, most adoption agencies have a basic inquiry packet that they can send to you via email or by mail. This will give you an overview of the programs that they offer, a little about the process, and should hopefully include their fees. If an agency does not disclose their fees up front, I would see that as a red flag and something to consider as you begin to move forward and narrow things down.

Third, go to information meetings. The majority of reputable agencies out there offer information meetings. Most are group, in-person meetings, but some agencies may do individual meetings in person or by phone. Information meetings are typically free (and if they are not this should be another red flag). Attend a few information meetings to see what various agencies are about. You don’t need to make any commitment when you attend a meeting. When families attend information meetings that I hold, my job is to give them clear and accurate information so that they can make an informed decision on what type of adoption they want to pursue and how the agency I work for can assist them with that goal.

Fourth, don’t be afraid to ask questions. Whether it be at the meeting itself or after the fact (I know I am the person who leaves somewhere and comes up with a million questions that I should have asked during the car ride home). There is no stupid question. Adoption is a life-changing decision and you need to make sure that you are fully informed. I personally love when families ask questions because I can tailor answers to their specific situations. If you are intimidated to ask a question in a group, then stay after the meeting and ask in private, or call or email the next day.

Fifth, and final, you need to be 100% comfortable with the agency that you choose. This is the most important thing. You can do the research, attend the information meetings but you need to have that “warm and fuzzy” feeling about the agency and social worker that you are going to work with. Adoption is a roller coaster. There are lots of emotions and feelings involved. It can often be overwhelming. The job of your agency/social worker is to help make that roller coaster less bumpy; to be there to support you on the hard days and to rejoice with you on the happy ones. I have had families tell me that they are going with a different agency then the one I work for because they felt it was a better fit. What do I say to that? “Great! I wish you all the best in your journey.”

Why? Because I truly want them to be comfortable with the agency that they choose.

Choosing an agency can be overwhelming. But with research, asking questions, and getting that “just right” feeling you will find the agency that is your perfect match as you move forward in your adoption journey.

For help finding an international adoption agency in your foreign adoption, visit Adoption.com/international. 

Do you feel there is a hole in your heart that can only be filled by a child? We’ve helped complete 32,000+ adoptions. We would love to help you through your adoption journey. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

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